Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
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why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize