Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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