Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
