i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Terrible idea I love it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
