i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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