Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
