Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
