dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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