i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize