i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
