Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
