he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
