watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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