idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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