At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
