whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
