She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
please don't ironically join a cult
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