Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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