the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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