I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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