Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
