Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
