And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This is the high leading the old right now
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
