also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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