doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
