I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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