We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
