I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
