I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
