All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
