I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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