Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Randomize
