If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
