I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Randomize
