if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
