took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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