We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
