Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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