So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
