he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Can i not drive my cunt home
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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