Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
