if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
