everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
