it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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