Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
