My cat gives me a boner
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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