i think my tv is drunk
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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