One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Life is so much better after having sex.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize