we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize