You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
