oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
