i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize