OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize