I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize