Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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