I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
