I heard we made out
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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