I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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