LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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