This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
