Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
