You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
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As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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