i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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