u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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