Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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