I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He called his prostate his "boner button".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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