worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
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I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Watching her eat just hurts me
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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